When mommy or mother-in-law interfere with your wedding planning.
“You can’t possibly have a small wedding! You have to invite Uncle Fritz, Aunt Emma, the cousin from Dortmund!” “And the location…. No way!”
If mummy or mother-in-law get involved in the wedding preparations and don’t really share your ideas of your dream wedding, the anticipation of the wonderful event can quickly become clouded. Why do we write of mummy or mother-in-law? Well, the dads usually stay out of it. They are simply happy that the kids are getting married.
At my wedding the date was too short term, the location too far away and the company too small. “What do all the relatives say who are not invited…?!”
It becomes particularly difficult when the parents want to participate financially in the celebration or in the wedding dress. “The sponsor has his way!” This mentality could creep in.
If the mummy is present when choosing the wedding dress, mummy’s ideas of the perfect dress could interfere with your wishes. Mama should chill in her armchair with a glass of champagne and shed a tear of joy when her little daughter appears from the dressing room in a beautiful wedding dress. But what if Mama has such a completely different opinion about the style?
An Early communication is important!
As soon as you have announced the good news about your upcoming wedding is the best time to talk about your wish of no interference in your wedding planning. While all the family members are in each other’s arms with joy, you can mention that your are very much looking forward to the loving family witnessing the wonderful moment….. and have no desire in their interference in the planning.
Thus all parties know that they will hold back discreetly. And if at some point there is a “….. but I just wanted to say…” and “…. I would have an idea…..” from my mum, you can point out that you are happy to hear her out and then decide freely.
Sure, it becomes difficult when the parents promise financial support for the wedding or the start into the marriage. It is very important to discuss the conditions in advance. It is important to thank for the support, but to make it clear that you will only accept the gift if it is not linked to any conditions.
Oh yes, and my mother-in-law?
She loved our wedding. Never before had I experienced her so cheerful, so relaxed and so happy. Clearly, when she saw her son so happy, the grief about the loss of her giant wedding disappeared.